The other day while I was cleaning up my Blogrolls, when I happened on a link to a Youtube video on Lady Kinnks’ Blog titled “Nappy Ass Hair” and clicked on it out of sheer curiosity.  What I saw both enraged and saddened me.

Posted there on Youtube, for the world to see, was a recording of a relatively “young” mother performing an act of child abuse under the guise of combing the beautifully full head of hair of what I assume to be her multi-racial daughter.  For approximately five minutes and eight seconds, this mother, who’s facial expression was one of fury reserved for a legitimate beef with an adult, uses a plastic bristled paddle brush to savagely rake through the child’s “dry” hair, oblivious to any snags or snarls, in a fashion that makes my own scalp hurt in sympathy.  In addition to this atrocity, behind the camera is the child’s aunt OLDER SISTER engaging in a bevy of belly laughs, guffaws if you will, at the child’s expense as the mother pins the child to her leg, the floor and the couch while grabbing handfuls of the child’s hair, uttering such phrases as “Move your fucking hand!” and “I’ll fuck you up!” to the screaming girl who could not be more than six years old… if that.  If that isn’t enough, at about FIVE MINUTES and ten seconds of this five minutes forty-six second video, a little boy, who could be seen running back and forth in front of the  camera and was alternately taunted by the aunt older sister about his turn coming up, is enlisted to wrangle the child back to her mother after she successfully breaks away.  His attempts prove futile after ten seconds, so the mother has no other choice but to get up and pull the child by her arms back to the couch, where she continues her assault.  This time with a pick.

NOTE: If you can not tell from the still above, the video is pretty brutal so I will not post it or a link to it here, but if you really want to see it, Google the video title and Youtube and it will be the first result, if it’s still there by the time this is posted.

From what I gather the original video was flagged as inappropriate and yanked from the site, but apparently someone else* got a hold to it and uploaded it again.  As you could guess, aside from a few yokels the responses to this video, both in text and via video, were filled with anger and disbelief at the mother, as well as sympathy for this girl.  I personally was livid and had to fight to hold back tears for this child I don’t know from Adam’s house cat.  The first thing that went through my mind was how could this woman who gave birth to and raised this little girl 1. treat her so brutally, 2. allow other family members to stand by and encourage the abuse while ridiculing the child, and 3. agree to this being documented via video and uploaded to the Internet.  The second thing that went through my mind was, thanks to someone else feeling the need to rebroadcast this vicious attack yet not REPORT IT, will this be used as an example to others as to how black mothers handle their child’s “nappy ass hair”?  Honestly, what I really thought was, will this serve as an example as to how all black mother’s handle their children, period?

While it is painfully obvious this mother — whose hair looks relatively neat, well cared for and “freshly” permed — needs more than a few parenting lessons, or  better yet, to be taken outside and having her “hair treated in the same manner” (read that as a metaphor for having her ass kicked),  it is also evident that this woman could stand a lesson on how to properly detangle and brush her daughter’s hair.  As far as the detangling lessons, what’s sad is there are tons of tutorials on the very same site the video was posted on, and at least three video pleas for the woman to contact them personally show her how it’s done.  Chances are the woman will never see the comments (the video was uploaded in mid July… there’s not one response from her at all) and thereby never get help with taking care of the little girl’s hair or being a better mother.

Even though the immediate physical and verbal abuse is apparent within the video, one can’t help but imagine the perceptions this girl will take  of herself into her teen years and womanhood.  On top of the overall stigmas attached to ethnic hair that are already prevalent in society, with her mother treating her hair as if it is an abomination and an inconvenience, there is no doubt in my mind that unless there is an intervention to stop this sort of treatment, that beautiful little girl will grow up fostering a deep disdain for herself by virtue of how she views her hair.  More than the violent combing of the child’s hair, this is the point that bothers me the most.  I took me over 30 years to consciously to accept my hair just based on society’s belief that black hair is “bad” hair.  I couldn’t imagine how long it would have taken if I’d suffered any personal “attacks” on that pinpointed my hair specifically.  It’s like this baby doesn’t have a chance, and it’s because of her mother‘s actions that she’ll fight a personal battle, possibly for the rest of her life.  My heart bleeds for her, especially since the baby’s only means of defense is to kick and scream and yell “I hate you!” at assailant; her mother.

If you have a chance to view the video, tell a friend and spread the word.  Not just to get the video flagged, which I honestly think should not happen in the event that someone who knows this mother and child and may get them both the help they need.  But spread the word so that all of us who embrace ethnic hair, whether relaxed or natural, know that this type of stuff is still going on within our community, placing five more bricks on the wall of ignorance for every one we try to tear down.  Spread the word so that the jealousy involved in pitting “good” hair against “bad” hair loses just a bit more strength between us, and hopefully stops being passed from mother to daughter.  And, if you watch the video, please come back and tell me what you thought. It would be much appreciated.

NOTE: After reading this blog post on TheRoot.com I have been made aware that the “mother” and child are from my home city, which hurts my heart to no end and makes me really take this personal.  Fortunately, the authorities were alerted (this gives me hope that Detroit isn’t fully dead).  For more information, surf on over HERE.  KinkyKeeper with comment #30 says it better than I ever could.  And sadly, it seems there was more than one video taken of this horror show.

Healthy Hair Wishes,

* The someone else who posted the video after it was taken down by administrators had this to say:

“its just a trip how the girl is actin all that screamin and stuff and throwing stuff cuz she dont want her hair brushed the little girl is actin way over the top and the mother means no harm.”

I’m sure HE posted it thinking it would get him a laugh or two from the Black community.  And that is really a damn shame.