I was a Napturally Me! Lurker-In-Resident for a very long time, just to get a feel for the dynamics of the group.  In my experience over the years I’ve had the misfortune of meeting up with pretentious naturals (read: Nappy Nazis) and those encounters made me apprehensive when it came to forming alliances.  But because I know the way to benefit from any experience, especially from a networking standpoint, you have to be active within it, I took the plunge on the 20th and attended my first NM Meetup event — a potluck viewing of “Good Hair“.

Although I arrived “fashionably late” and halfway into the screening (my apologies to anyone I bumped while making my way to the back of the pitch black room *lol*) I was overjoyed to have made it and amazed by the turn out.  Partaking in the festivities was an impressive number of 30 nappturals, which doesn’t even fully represent the 81 member roll!  No disrespect to my culture and heritage but… Ya’ll know unless it’s a club function, church service or give-away, turn out for social functions can be painfully low.  Having founded a couple of writing groups in my time I know this to be painfully true.  So to see so many fellow naturals in one room just for the fun of connecting with other naturals was exhilarating, to say the least.  While I know I’m not alone in my journey thanks to my wonderfilled connections with nappy heads via Facebook and Twitter, it’s always to know that I have access to support in my life outside the Net.

In addition to the pleasant surprise I received from the number of attendees, I was also amazed at just how good “Good Hair” was.  Well… the half of it I saw. *lol*  Going in my expectations were that the movie was going to be a celebrity spearhead fluff piece comparable to Textured Tresses.  Because the Black hair debate has raged on for centuries with very few dips below the surface of texture, type and style issues, I was not anticipating a noteworthy expose from the likes of Chris Rock.  In that, I was not disappointed.  For the record, “Good Hair” will not answer the age old question of just why hair is such a big issue within the Black community.  It is not a dissertation on why natural hair is best, why the “straight standard” has prevailed for as long as it has, or why Black hair is so politically charged.  What it is is documentary of one man’s search to find the answers to those queries in order to know what to tell his daughter about her hair.  It was Chris Rock‘s quest to understand for himself (and for his wallet) how to help his daughter take pride in her hair.  It was not meant to decry the use of perms, as many expected, so based on the merit of Chris‘s intention, it was a good film.  In the end, hair is what it is based on each individuals perception of what it means to them.  There’s no way to blanketly label it, which is the movie’s conclusion.  To paraphrase Ice T at the film’s end, no matter the enhancements, as long as a woman feels good about her appearance her it’s all good.  I have to make it a point to cop a bootleg *ahem* rent a copy so I can catch the part I missed.  Oh, and for the record… Jason Griggers really should have won the hair show. *snap snap*

Following the screening was an engaging discussion between NM members, about the movie and other hair related topics.  The atmosphere was one of compassionate sharing and educating, showing the roots of everyone’s journey.  Again, it was refreshing to be in the presence of so many like minded individuals without the pretensions of natural “rules” and dogma.  Much to my surprise, Kendra, the groups Organizer, enlightened me to the fact that you don’t even have to be natural to be a member of the group.  As long as you have a love for natural hair and an interest in learning more about it (how to style it, how to keep it healthy) you are more than welcome.  Suffice it to say, I have found my local nappy home and plan to attend many more Nappturally Me! functions in the near future.

Shouts out to our gracious hostess Amber for organizing such a great event, to Akon, Sarai and Chele for the wonderful conversations, and to DaiRita for that kick ass “Black Ass Cake.” *lol*  To all the ladies who provided the delicious and bountiful dishes, thank you oh so much.  I look forward to kicking it natural with all of you again soon.

Healthy Hair Wishes,

I’d heard about the natural hair Twitter chat in passing through my stream, but could never quite catch the wave.  Well this past Sunday night, while viewing the fiasco that was this year’s NBA All-Star game, I was reminded of the event by a few followers and decided to jump in.  Boy was I ever glad I did.

I know, I know… For the most part Twitter doesn’t seem like the proper environment to host a chat because of how fast information passes through each stream.  With just one account, depending on how many people you follow, a stream can seem like a busy intersection of rapid fire conversation pieces.  So imagine upwards of fifty different sources for tweets and retweets that flow at the pace of a sprinter!

Sounds a bit daunting, eh?  Well contrary to what you may think, Twitter is the perfect medium for such an endeavour.  Because the topic is based on natural hair, and each tweet hardly ever strays from that base, following and responding is quite easy, providing a comprehensive information pool for novices and vets alike.

In addition to the informational well presented by the chat, this the perfect opportunity to build a natural hair cipher from among some of the Naptural elite!  In just my first attendance I saw my follower number boosted by approximately 10%, and my following list by about 40%. *lol* The atmosphere within the chat is one of sister-to-sister sharing; each participant willing to answer questions with their natural wisdom as well as receive knowledge from others.  There is no air of Nappy Nazism, just and uplifting source of peer-to-peer enlightening.  I love it and most certainly will return in the future.

Want to join in on the fun?  Well on Sundays at 10 PM EST, log onto your actual Twitter page (or go to the Twitter Search page) and type in the hashtag #naturalhair into the search field.  Once you’re “plugged in”, simply follow the stream.  Jump in to introduce yourself or answer a question or pose one of your very own.  That’s it and that’s all and it’s so much fun!  This is a weekly thing ya’ll, and I’m not sure how long it actually goes on, but even an hour or so in the chat is well worth it.

I’d like to give a shout to the natural mavens I became connected with at this weeks chat: Konigirl, NaturalChica, AfroChyck, Kinshasaa, Rootsology and host of others.  Hope to see you again this coming Sunday!

FYI: The #naturalhair Twitter search query is always jumping, so be sure to check it on all days that end in Y. *lol*

Healthy Hair Wishes,

(click the image to visit site)

Consider this the Naptural hair MECCA! I was blessed to find this site when I was first considering taking up the natural cross, and quickly signed up to become a member. While I have only played the part of lurker thus far, I have not been far from the boards soaking up the love!

On the home page visitors are welcomed by explanations of what Nappturality is and the established purpose of the site. Once you cruise through the pages you are further embraced by insightful articles, encouraged by member profiles, and enlightened by the forum topics. There’s recipes, advice, and sharing galore, geared to Napturals on every level of the journey!

As I said… MECCA! But you know what? You need not take my word for it. Surf on over and take a gander by your big self. And become a member… or not. No pressure. *lol*

NOTE: The image used for this spotlight is the property of Nappturality.com. All rights reserved.

Happy exploring!

Healthy Hair Wishes,

(click the image to visit site)

I happened upon this classy and classic Blog during my first week out of the hair Blogging gate, and was very impressed by the clean and concise layout. There’s a very feminine vibe at M&C that embraces you through the monitor, enticing you to kick your shoes off and stay awhile.

Beyond the pretty-ful visuals, be prepared for an onslaught of hair news you can use, such as the proper way to flat iron and the proper way to moisturize, as well as a parade of natural pride featuring inspiring model pictures (not just of the AA variety either) and even an exciting “expose” on kinky hair Barbies!

All in all, it’s a naptural-polooza, and I implore you to pay a M&C a visit, become a member, and/or subscribe to updates so you can keep up with their latest and greatest!

NOTE: The image used for this spotlight is the property of MANEANDCHIC.com. All rights reserved.

Happy exploring!

Healthy Hair Wishes,

As I’ve constantly stated, the natural journey is not an easy one to pull off, and is most definitely not for the faint of heart. It’s not just about the hair, because surprisingly once I learned how to maintain my natural texture, I learned that my hair is not as “bad” as I’d once feared (images of dark brown Brillo pads constantly plagued me in the beginning). It’s soft and only slightly coiled when it’s been properly moisturizers, and even when wet it is a whole lot more tangle-free than when my hair was relaxed! But, the psychological aspects of the journey can be a bit taxing. Because the process is so very personal, it’s easy to become bruised by off-hand comments or out-of-the way glances/stares, which will have you fighting the urge to run out for a new relaxer kit against your own best wishes. Graciously I have been blessed with a very strong natural hair support group within my circle of friends, and while all of them may not be on the same path, they never cease to keep me encouraged and focused on my goal to remain hair chemical free from here on out!

So this post is for all of you. Whether you’ve left a comment here or sent one to me personally, and regardless of the length of time we’ve been in association, your words have worked wonders with keeping me away from that jar of Motions super at Sally’s. *lol* Even if we’ve never shared a single word, virtually or IRL, just knowing that you are reading this Blog, and hopefully getting something from it, helps to keep me in a positive state of mind concerning the transition.

I will not even make an attempt at listing you all, for fear my memory will fail the sentiment of my heart. But you all know who you are, and should know that I appreciate you more than words can say.

To the biggest proponent of my switch… Your support and encouragement were the flames that lit the fuse, and I’m ever so grateful. One of my biggest hurdles to get over was how my decision would affect any relationship I was involved in once I stopped perming my hair. But that wasn’t the issue with you since you were on board from day minus-one. *lol*

So to those considering taking that first step upon the road back to natural, know that the greatest “must have” after you’ve chosen your transition method and hair are regimen, is to surround yourself with positive minded people who are either natural themselves, making the switch, or very supportive of your plight. Join a few groups and forums created for natural hair networking. It doesn’t matter if they’re online entities of RL circles, as long as you can connect to someone who knows your struggles and can personally relate to your triumphs. The presence of these support systems make all the difference in the world on those days when you’re questioning your choice.  And they will come, trust me.

Healthy Hair Wishes,

Since I virtually grew up in Leamington, Ontario (I spent every summer there from the time I knew what summer was until I was foruteen) it was inevitable that some of my first serious friends were Caucasian-Canadian. There was Michelle, an energetic and effervescent French-Canadian, and there was Lisa, a bubbly and sports focused German-Canadian. The three of us were the same age, although I was the youngest of the trio, and we were as thick as thieves, traipsing all around Sturgeon Woods and beyond.

Like most coloured girls at the time (and of times since), I held a silent (and sometimes not so silent) admiration for the silken and straight blonde hair of my cohorts, and while I did not wish to physically possess hair “like theirs”, I often longed for the ease of letting my hair hang loose, or simply tossing it in a ponytail when all other options failed. Michelle was a “dirty blonde” with flush shoulder length strands that she wore untethered. Lisa’s hair was a wavy/curly mass of yellow blonde, with darker blonde roots for a natural contrast. Although her hair was thicker than Michelle’s, both possessed the garden variety “good hair” that was held by society as the standard by which all heads should be measured.

What always amazed me about my friends was, for as fascinated with their tresses as I was… they equally verbalized a fondness for mine. I couldn’t understand why. I mean whenever we went swimming I always has to wear a cap or else I’d come out looking like the Don King by the head — sans the gray, of course. I could never wear my hair free because the humidity granted to the area by a heated Lake Erie would never fail to give me the equivalent of a matted helmet. And there was never any “get up, brush, and go” for me, but still, both Michelle and Lisa were enthralled with my hair’s texture and body… so much so that Michelle even got a curly perm at one point! This was the first time I realized that white women permed their hair to achieve what we naturally have been blessed with, while black women relax ours in order to emulate their hair. Of course, Michelle reverted back to her au naturale locks due to the damage the chemical process caused her, but it was cute while it lasted… in a pet poodle kinda way. *snicker*

My friend Dana, who is bi-racial, has the prettiest raven hair that softly curls, and yet she regularly relaxes her hair to achieve a straight grade. We’ve known each other since the sixth grade, and I have always envied her hair that was free of the coils I had to tame chemically in order to achieve a texture close to hers. But like Michelle and Lisa, she wished for warp and woof that would hold the more “urban” styles of her peers (ya’ll know the crazy styles we had back in the 80′s took a nice amount of relaxed “kink” to pull off *lol*). Another school friend, Felisita, has the gorgeously straight, chocolate tinted hair of a Puerto Rican Latina, which seems to grow an inch a second. *lol* I’ve always loved her length, which has spanned from shoulder length to down her back at varying times during the eighteen years I’ve known her. She, on the other hand, “hates” how limp, lifeless, and fly-away her strands can become, making it difficult for her to style it in any other way than ponytails. Although I’m not sure if she ever permed her hair, but I do know she’s wished many times for thicker tresses that held a bend and feathered bangs.

So, I guess the hair affair comes in all flavours, eh? And it’s not just about texture either. Brenda, a new reader, pointed out to me that she has issues with the graying process, and worked her way to accepting it. In response to “The Long & Short of It” she offers:

I loved your story … and can relate from my own perspective as one who is fighting the stigma associated with women with GRAYING hair. I stopped coloring mine two years ago when I decided to “own” my years and the worries that have caused my tresses to to fade.

She reminded me of my mother, who has been a Honey Blonde, courtesy of Dark & Lovely, since the days of yore in efforts to stave the gray. In addition to that, Ms. Marva has periodically relaxed the naturally soft coils graced her by her half Native-American grandmother, not because she “hated” her hair, but for the same reason as Lisa, Dana, and Lisa: for texture’s sake.

All of this just goes to show, the stigmas surrounding hair touch us all, regardless of age, hair type, or racial background. Whether we feel our hair is too limp, too unruly, or too showing too much of our age, we all have our crosses to bear. It’s not just a “black thang”; in many instances it’s not even exclusively a woman thing, because men have a set of hair issues all their own that we haven’t even begun to touch. *lol* What it is, is a hair thing, and since we all have hair (most of us, anyway *wink*) it’s a universal issue that sometimes “plagues” us for the whole of our lives. It takes simply time and patience for us all to break through certain hair-reotypes, and to learn to accept and manage our own hair, whether we choose the natural route, relaxed, curly permed, or coloured.

So to all my sistahs, and brothers, in the struggle who’ve happened upon my Blog in your hair care searches, know that I feel your pain. Don’t let the melanin fool ya. *lol*

Healthy Hair Wishes,

You know when India‘s song came out every sistah was rocking it, bobbing their heads back and forth to affirm that not matter what they choose to do with the mass of protein that sprouts from their scalps, they refused to be defined by it. I was one of those sistahs, even as I was frying my strands to oblivion with my Motion’s super strength relaxers. *lol* I liked the idea of telling people where to get off if they thought they could make me conform to what they thought I should do with my hair, or those who misappropriated their ideas of me because I wouldn’t. Of course I was still conforming by perming my hair, but even with that, I rocked the styles I wanted, or sometimes opted for no style at all. My hair was not the whole of me, and anyone who thought different could stuff it. *lol* But one night, during a poetry telecipher known as The Session (big ups to Max and the rest of the NWO gang), I heard a fellow word smith recite a poem called “I Am My Hair” and it got me to thinking personal the concept of hair can be.

The gist of the poem was about how the reciter was Native American, and how hair for them told the story of wear they’d be. Like the rings of a tree, each inch spoke of trials and triumphs; loves lost and battles won. Of children born and ancestors passed. It was such a touching tribute to heritage, and the author of the poem spit it with such convicting venom. The entire experience put a whole new spin on the hair game, which was the start of me taking the natural journey a whole lot more seriously… even though it took a good six months or so before I ventured out onto it.

The natural journey is a dithyrambic and personal one, and can become very absorbing once you begin to focus your efforts. It’s not merely about hair, its about a coming back to who you truly are; about relearning what you believe and reconstructing those parts that don’t align with your authentic self. When that first span of new growth rears it’s ugly head, it tests your strength, your determination, and your faith in yourself to carry through. All of those bad hair demons which found a home in your psyche come out to play, and you’re forced to deal with (and break down) more misapprehensions than you thought you could hold. Each inch of new growth tests your restraint, because it takes a very strong will not to go running to your nearest beauty supply store and literally throwing money at the clerk for some conking cream. The natural hair journey is possibly months of facing yourself in a mirror (or totally avoiding them altogether) and dealing with the fact that you do not fit into the standard of beauty as set by modern society. And that assessment doesn’t just stop at your hair… it begins to pick apart any and every “imperfection” you feel you have! Yes, this process definitely shows you what you’re made of from very early on.

Before I started to grow my hair out, natural sistahs used to intimidate the hell out of me. They carried with them such an air of “arrogance”, it was almost stifling and definitely made me feel self conscious. Not just about relaxing my hair, but about the type of person I was, my life directions and such. What I didn’t understand back then was the that arrogance was earned and very well deserved. You see, every kinky step along the path to naptural that is wrought with struggle is a testament to just how strong you really are. Just like in the poem, every inch of your curly, wavy or coiled new growth tells your personal story of breaking chains and emerging the victor over paradigms that no longer fit into your mind frame. So yes, that pride you feel vibing off a natural sistah, or see displayed in her every action, is merited. Because they have put in time on the front line warring against being pushed into a little box which limited their beauty, and have come to a place now where their hair no longer defines them. It becomes the expression of who they know they were meant to be, as it was meant to be.

So I say it proudly, and with all the naturally arrogant attitude I can muster: I AM TOO MY HAIR! Because my hair speaks deeper than just about how I look. It exclaims to the masses in a booming voice, exactly who I AM.

Dedicated to A New Lis, and all my other sistahs (and brothers) starting on or considering taking this journey.

Healthy Hair Wishes,